What my notepads look like

I am afraid to love.

Love makes one so selfless, seemingly powerless, but truly the most powerful.

I want to love.

I want all to love.

I am sorry for the wrong things I've done.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know where to go from here.

I'm lost.

What do I do?

- There is humiliation to be appreciated that comes from sharing ones most inner thoughts. - I hope I am a benefit to humanity.

I am afraid of humility.

But I believe in truth more.

We laugh at our problems because the true solutions are subconsciously hidden within all of us.

Our perceptions change as our awareness increase.

Compassion is in love.
Truth is a part of love.
Sincerity is a by product of love.
Love is a part of selflessness.

Love is a part of all these things and most likely (out of all possibly likeliness more.

A business man can spread peace by spreading peace all over the world.

The equal right to great happiness, an insurmountable amount. The equal right of violence, zero right.

I find the value of my internal happiness below most things, people, and places.

One must like pretending to be in a completely different situation to truly be acting, making it seem as though they truly were in a completely different situation..

Sometimes I do not focus on a single thought and run with it to see where my thoughts will lead me without obstruction and encouragement honest. I suppose I am focusing on something though, learning as many things as possible.

I wonder if my learning and introspection seems to be vanity?

I have developed habits and mannerisms to become a standard method of thought retrieval. For some reason I seem to use physical motion of my body to bring out thoughts... Perhaps I'm just focusing on two things at the same time. I scratch my head because I wonder if it causes balding. I rub my hands because I wonder what will happen.

There are four methods of control, the violent way, the peaceful way, the mixed way, and the lack of control - chaos.

Because I am a low-manned person on the totem pole of knowledge, I can not say for sure if there truly is order to our entire world as we know it, whether it is chaos, or if it is at least mixed, or controlled through violence.

Why are we not going the way of peace though? It is the righteous thing to do. I believe it is likely the most humble and the most rewarding thing to do.

I want to know the truth, but sometimes in fear of losing happiness, I hide from it, the truth always prevails, and I learn what I was in fear of turned out to be something to love. Yet I am still afraid.

-- Over Two Hours Worth of Writing -- from approx. 12am to 2am. Perhaps earlier, I checked the post time which say 9:59, and the draft autosaved at 3:13 (so it's an hour ahead from my computer time) which makes me wonder if it's really been 5 or 6 hours. That doesn't seem correct.